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We call it “Sandal Kabob”. Don’t worry, no sandals in it, only meat.

Obligatory Afghanistan bathroom post

Happy Nap Time, everyone

humorous-blog:

johnscowlick:

espritinfini:

Your keyboard is now Daft Punk…

this is not a video, click on it

image

this is fantastic

guys type this

qwer

asdf

yuio

hjkl

then hold shift:

QAWSEDRF

YHUJIKOL

(via frump3857)

lezbe-h0nest:

jessicaisawolverine:

my president, ya’ll.

Can England have Obama please omg

He’s actually not joking and its not classified. The project is called the Tactical Assault Light Operator Suit, or TALOS. The DOD is currently looking for companies to bid on contracts to contribute the incredibly varied technologies that will go into the suit. Google that shit, I no lie. The future is here. 

(via fezsbowtiesandconverse)

babygirlandherbooks:

“The greatest mystery the universe offers is not life but size. Size encompasses life, and the Tower encompasses size. The child, who is most at home with wonder, says: Daddy, what is above the sky? And the father says: The darkness of space. The child: What is beyond space? The father: The galaxy. The child: Beyond the galaxy? The father: Another galaxy. The child: Beyond the other galaxies? The father: No one knows.

“You see? Size defeats us. For the fish, the lake in which he lives is the universe. What does the fish think when he is jerked up by the mouth through the silver limits of existence and into a new universe where the air drowns him and the light is blue madness? Where huge bipeds with no gills stuff it into a suffocating box and cover it with wet weeds to die?

“Or one might take the tip of the pencil and magnify it. One reaches the point where a stunning realization strikes home: The pencil tip is not solid; it is composed of atoms which whirl and revolve like a trillion demon planets. What seems solid to us is actually only a loose net held together by gravity. Viewed at their actual size, the distances between these atoms might become league, gulfs, aeons. The atoms themselves are composed of nuclei and revolving protons and electrons. One may step down further to subatomic particles. And then to what? Tachyons? Nothing? Of course not. Everything in the universe denies nothing; to suggest an ending is the one absurdity.

“If you fell outward to the limit of the universe, would you find a board fence and signs reading DEAD END? No. You might find something hard and rounded, as the chick must see the egg from the inside. And if you should peck through the shell (or find a door), what great and torrential light might shine through your opening at the end of space? Might you look through and discover our entire universe is but part of one atom on a blade of grass? Might you be forced to think that by burning a twig you incinerate an eternity of eternities? That existence rises not to one infinite but to an infinity of them?

“Perhaps you saw what place our universe plays in the scheme of things - as no more than an atom in a blade of grass. Could it be that everything we can perceive, from the microscopic virus to the distant Horsehead Nebula, is contained in one blade of grass that may have existed for only a single season in an alien time-flow? What if that blade should be cut off by a scythe? When it begins to die, would the rot seep into our universe and our own lives, turning everything yellow and brown and desiccated? Perhaps it’s already begun to happen. We say the world has moved on; maybe we really mean that it has begun to dry up.

“Think how small such a concept of things make us, gunslinger! If a God watches over it all, does He actually mete out justice for such a race of gnats? Does His eye see the sparrow fall when the sparrow is less than a speck of hydrogen floating disconnected in the depth of space? And if He does see… what must the nature of such a God be? Where does He live? How is it possible to live beyond infinity?

“Imagine the sand of the Mohaine Desert, which you crossed to find me, and imagine a trillion universes - not worlds by universes - encapsulated in each grain of that desert; and within each universe an infinity of others. We tower over these universes from our pitiful grass vantage point; with one swing of your boot you may knock a billion billion worlds flying off into darkness, a chain never to be completed.

“Size, gunslinger… size.”

The Man in Black speaking to Roland of Gilead in a night that lasts a thousand years, full of glamour..

haanigram:

THE LAST EPISODE OF FUTURAMA 1999 - 2013

This was a great episode, but it was also a great episode when it was the final episode of Stargate SG-1

(via frump3857)

newyorksjojo:

oohmrleo:

I don’t understand, why did you reblog a picture of a normal dude hanging out on the street

I hate how tumblr does this. Why do people think it’s okay to take pictures of random guys just because they’re “attractive” or whatever? That’s fucked up, and I guarantee if this were a woman instead of a man there would be outrage.

And I know sexism isn’t equal in that sense, but people have a right to privacy. Stop being so damn creepy, y’all.

This reminds me of a great story that I’ll never be able to share with anyone. 

(via fezsbowtiesandconverse)

saucefactory:

dannyprouvaire:

dammitjim-imthedoctor:

dannyprouvaire:

dammitjim-imthedoctor:

peabodysfedora:

iraffiruse:

Frozach Submitted

I am a literature student and I have tears of laughter in my eyes

"Oh, to be toilet paper, that I might touch that cheek."

#The Tragic Tale of Bumeo and Juliass (via dammitjim-imthedoctor)

"Do you wipe your bum at us, sir?"

"No, sir, I do not wipe my bum at you, sir, but I wipe my bum, sir."

"Diarrhea on both your houses!"

#Good night good night farting is such sweet sorrow

"How silver-sweet sound lovers’ toots by night,
Like the softest music to attending ears.”

THIS POST IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME

(via fezsbowtiesandconverse)

I got chocolate peanut butter nutsack in a carepackage

uvamike456:

Into the Woods (2014)

Johnny Depp … The Wolf 
Meryl Streep … Witch
Chris Pine … Cinderella’s Prince 
Emily Blunt … Baker’s Wife
Anna Kendrick … Cinderella

Duuuuuuuuuuude

mega-ashra:

We miss you, Egon. :_(  RIP Harold Ramis.

(via frump3857)

This video is incredible. Also reminds me slightly of my mother in New Haven. 

sicckgirl:

heyfunniest:

How to grow a man beard.

Omg

Sounds legit

(via vermigs)